I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
