i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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