I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
