Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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