I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
