I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
