Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
