I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
