you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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