would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
did i just pee glitter
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
