I want to stick my p in your. b.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
