...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
