he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
