why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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