Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
