Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
