Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
