I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
