Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
