totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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