I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize