Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
