i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
