I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
