All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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