there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
