i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
His nipple licking is glorious
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