i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
