I love black thongs
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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