the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
of course. lets lasso hookers.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
