I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Randomize
