stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
And then my night got REAL pukey
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
