i jhust puked up my retainher.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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