just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
