I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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