Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
