I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize