i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
It's rum buckets o'clock
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize