You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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