She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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