There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Semen is not good for contacts.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
