What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
