how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I am mentally ready for anal.
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