i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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