O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
