It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
How does one acquire holy water?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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