there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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