I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
