I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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