yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
