We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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