I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
