I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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