he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
