Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
