Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize
