they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
is that a dick in a sweater?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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