I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
