so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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