And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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