last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
