Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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