When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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