Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
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