Ketchup is God's man juice
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
