Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
