You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
